Though its primary purpose remains disrupting college lectures and movie screenings, laser light has also proven useful in the precise removal of human hair. Today's smooth-making Groupon lets you reap the benefits of America's favorite repurposed super-villain weapon: for $99, you get your choice of three select laser hair-removal treatments (up to a $525 value) at CosMedic Solutions. This treatment only works on visible brown or dark hair; white, gray, blond, or red hair cannot be treated. Get up to two Groupons for a total of six treatments.

The state-of-the-art Cordova cosmetics clinic offers specialized beautifying treatments in a medically supervised environment. Choose to treat one of the following areas in three separate sessions, or opt to mix and match for a near full-body strand extermination: between the eyebrows ($65), upper lip ($100), chin ($125), ears ($100), toes ($100), stomach strip ($125), dorsal fin (market price), underarms ($175), bikini triangle ($175), sideburns ($175), front neck ($125), or back of neck ($125). During your treatment trio, a member of the friendly and licensed staff will usher you into a comfortable laser chamber, where they'll apply the Cutera CoolGlide Laser to banish hair from the area of your choosing. Less painful than laser hair addition, the efficient follicle-zapping treatments include a consultation to ensure your eligibility and to answer all of your questions about the dark, lasery arts. Experts recommend four to six treatments for one area to achieve the best results, and today's Groupon can put you well on your way to winning a ribbon at the seal-impersonators conference.