Keeping teeth clean and white is the first and only step in coping with the fact that your skeleton is slowly escaping from your body through your mouth. Deal with it with today's Groupon to Cranston Cosmetic Dentistry. Choose between the following options:

• For $59, you get a dental exam, x-rays, and cleaning (a $208 value).
For $129, you get an Opalescence teeth-whitening treatment (a $395 value).

Cranston Cosmetic Dentistry’s dedicated staff can brighten dull bicuspids by an average of three to five shades during an Opalescence whitening treatment, or perform preventative dental care to keep grins glowing. During the whitening treatment, a skillful technician brushes carefully mixed whitening gel onto tarnished teeth, where it begins to breakup yellowing and stains caused by drinking coffee, tea, or smoothies made with India ink. Opalescence works without ultra-violet rays or light activation, keeping patients cool and comfortable, and the formula’s potassium nitrate and fluoride also work to strengthen tooth enamel and decrease sensitivity. After resting in a cushy dentist’s chair, clients receive custom trays and rejuvenated bicuspids emerge from beneath gel layers as bright as a spit-polished Dog Star.

Alternatively, technicians kick off a dental exam by aiming an arsenal of x-rays to locate fissures and potential cavities in clients’ chompers. Then, molar minders will professionally clean and polish pearly whites to deftly remove gingivitis-causing tartar, bacteria-carrying plaque, and business-card-carrying toothbrush salesmen.