America has enjoyed a long tradition of textile manipulation, from Betsy Ross cross-stitching the Constitution to Neil Armstrong knitting Apollo 11. Hone useful threading skills with today's Groupon to Creative Sewing Machine Center in West Columbia. Choose from the following options:

• For $12, you get a pillowcase-monogramming class (a $60 value).
• For $30, you get $60 worth of sewing merchandise.
• For $50, you get a quilting class (a $120 value).

Creative Sewing aims to usher in a sewing renaissance by educating thread-bearers in several techniques and supplying seasoned sewers with the best tools for their craft. The quilt-shop quality fabrics from Moda, Amy Butler, or Lila Tueller wrap needleworkers in limitless patchwork possibilities ($7.99+), and an array of popular patterns from brands such as Children's Corner and Silhouette are great for sewing dresses that recreate MC Escher paintings ($8.99+). In order to stitch these fabrics into a whole piece, cotton connectors can choose from a range of Mettler and King Tut threads ($2.99) and, to plan their pointed attack, Chaco liner marking pens ($9.99).

To bring thread wielding to the masses, Creative Sewing's instructors will customize a schedule of classes to meet the needs of Groupon buyers. The monogramming class for beginners teaches apprehensive hands the process of tattooing cloth, with provided embroidery machines and coordinated pillowcase kits. The quilting class's instructors fill students' sewing stations with a jellyroll of 2.5-inch strips of fabric and a sewing machine, guiding them through the techniques of the rail-fence style. Besides the fine motor skills needed for cohesive cloth creation, attendees will gain a working knowledge of "quilt talk," so terms such as "jellyroll" and "rail fence" will start to make sense, and the cryptic incantations of the sewing machine will become comprehensible.