Similar to old pennies, environmental toxins are ubiquitous, harmful if swallowed, and may contain trace amounts of Queen Elizabeth. Evict toxins from your temple with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a four-week detox-diet program at Credit Valley Wellness Centre in Mississauga (a $499 value).

Credit Valley Wellness Centre's staff overthrows clients' bad habits with preventative, health-boosting methods to help bodies of all ages increase energy levels, decrease stress, and maintain healthier lifestyles. Before starting the four-week detox program, which consists of specific food choices and consumption of a vitamin-packed protein powder, a one-hour consultation with a doctor gives patients the chance to discuss dietary habits and activity levels. Next, the practitioners perform physical tests ranging from body-fat composition to x-rays, depending on the patience of each individual's skeleton. Results emerge during a brief follow-up meeting within 24–48 hours, and the doctor and detoxer build a plan that aims to reach the client's goals at a realistic pace. Body-cleansers depart armed with advice on how to alter their diets, activity levels, and harmful aspects of daily life at work or home, and instructions on breaking up with their favourite hot-dog vendor.

Each day during the following four weeks, participants stir a Mediclear protein powder into fruit juice or a smoothie to fuel their detoxification. A comprehensive booklet and website proffer handy guides on foods to eat, recipe ideas, and tearing up love letters from the junk-food aisle while grocery shopping. Livers grow purer and stressed psyches grow lighter under the plan, on which participants gradually wean themselves from damaging food habits or cravings.