Unlike pets and houseguests, vehicles don’t hold grudges after getting sprayed with a hose and locked outside the house. Thank understanding cars with today’s Groupon: for $80, you get an auto-care package (a $218.47 value) at Cypress Firestone in Houston. Each package includes a lifetime wheel-alignment service (a $169.99 value), oil change (a $24.50 value), tire rotation (a $19.99 value), and the oil disposal fee (a $3.99 value).

Cypress Firestone's ASE-certified team of auto techs treats cars to scores of preventative-maintenance and repair services. Keep rides roaming on a straight path with a lifetime wheel alignment that improves wear, tear, and horse-track-loitering tendencies. During each service, cars are tenderly checked around areas of camber, caster, and toe to ensure balanced drivability. Freely return steeds back to Cypress Firestone's stables throughout the remainder of their lives.

As part of a one-time service, mechanical maestros quench car-pipes with up to 5 quarts of fresh oil before changing oil filters and lubing parts in preparation for pavement agility contests. Technicians also inspect cars' driving donuts for unusual damage or scratched-in riddles before placing them in a new formation with a tire rotation. Torquing tires at the end of the service elongates their mileage on highways, side streets, and the pixelated screens of children's movies. Expect to wait 60–90 minutes for all services.