In the future, teeth will contain microchips—called molar panels—that collect the sun's energy to power gum chewing and forced smiling during awkward encounters with former bosses and guidance counselors. Benefit from current teeth-tending technologies with this Groupon.

$29 for $279 Towards an At-Home Whitening Kit

You can redeem the full value of your Groupon for the Advanced Professional Teeth Whitening Kit, which includes 12 applications of whitening gel, custom whitening tray, and other accessories as well as a bonus LED accelerator light, whitening pen, and remineralizing and desensitizing pen. The kit helps restore discolored cuisine crushers to their natural pearly whiteness. Twelve applications of whitening gel coat the inside of custom-fitted trays, which team up with an LED accelerator light to grapple unruly biters into sparkling submission. The desensitizing gel works diligently to strengthen teeth's enamel and ability to chew through titanium Froot Loops. The whitening kit also allows users to track the treatment's progress with a shade guide. Once the tonal transformation is complete, patients may walk freely with the graffiti of tobacco, wine, and age erased from the highway overpass of their smiles. For further gumstone maintenance, the touchup whitening pen can blanch teeth on a tooth-by-tooth basis––a more effective way to whiten chompers than biting Frosty the Snowman.

Or, instead of the kit, you may elect to redeem your Groupon for just one whitening accessory, such as the accelerator light or the tray case. You may only select one item, and selecting the complete kit is the only way to redeem your Groupon's full value. All items include free shipping.