Without teeth, tongues would slither out of mouths and go on to lead unfulfilling lives catching raindrops and licking strangers' faces. Keep a stir-crazy taste-muscle contained in a gleaming cage with today's Groupon: for $50, new patients receive a dental exam, x-rays, and cleaning (a $278 value) at Dakota Dental Wellness on Lyncrest Avenue.

Dr. Devren Anderson, DDS of general dentistry, leads Dakota Dental Wellness’ versatile staff of fang-fresheners to brighten smiles with warmth, expertise, and a high-tech arsenal of the latest dental equipment. A skilled technician will conduct a probing and x-ray examination to ensure teeth are devoid of holes, gum disease, and liquid containers of more than 3.4 ounces. Then, a seasoned professional scrapes away plaque and tartar in a teeth-cleansing session that lasts 30–45 minutes, resulting in a fresher, more radiant display of dentition.