Without white teeth to back them up, smiles are powerless to make good first impressions, forcing people to greet everyone they meet with wads of cash instead. Whitewash your smile machine for maximum impact with today's Groupon: for $179, you get a Zoom! teeth-whitening treatment and a cosmetic consultation from Danny Shiri, DDS, in Carthay Circle (a $575 value).

Dr. Danny Shiri gifts gumcessories with the shiny blessing of a Zoom! whitening treatment, which is designed for safe, immediate shade-shifting results of an average of eight shades (a $475 value). This quick process takes a about an hour and involves the application of a scientifically formulated gel that is activated under a specially designed Zoom! light. Once it’s triggered, the gel makes its way into teeth, transforming smiles from sparkling to most sparklingest. After the treatment, patients are fully armed with instant brightness that can last for years to come. Much like building a cubicle, the entire Zoom! process takes place in-office.

Dr. Shiri and his cadre of teeth keepers also carry out a consultation (a $100 value) to assess the aesthetic dental situation and goals of each patient, prep for the Zoom! treatment, and recommend further procedures, such as Invisalign clear braces, porcelain veneers, and teeth portrait paintings. Groupon holders also have the option to order custom-fitted take-home whitening trays for a discounted price of $150 to extend the life of their newly brightened paparazzi blinders (a $250 value).