Like ripened fruits, people with healthy-colored skin tend to spend less time loitering in orchards and are more likely to get picked up at the grocery store. Catch the eye of passing orangutans with today’s Groupon to Darque Tan, valid at 16 locations. Choose from the following options:

• For $10, you get one UV-free VersaSpa sunless spray-tan session (up to a $34 value).
• For $30, you get one month of unlimited conventional tanning ($88.88 per month) and Mystic spray tanning ($48.88 per month) (up to a $88.88 value).
• For $80, you get three months of unlimited red-light-therapy sessions (up to a $240 value).

Darque Tan bronzes bodies with a wide selection of state-of-the-art equipment and high-quality products. Five types of tanning beds tailor beams to each bod's desired hue, and more than 20 beds at each location give swifter darkening results than swallowing an ink-jet cartridge. The friendly staff of certified hue-shifters beckon sun-seekers into traditional and UV-free booths. Mystic Tan and VersaSpa booths, both pH-balanced, sunless tanning systems that colorize clients with a hydrating, natural-looking glow, spray skin with customizable levels of the coppery concoction, which can be customized according to skin tone, desired shade, and spirit animal.

During each red-light-therapy session, guests slide comfortably into a capsule of glowing lamps that emit a UV-free light to stimulate collagen and elastin production. A combination of regular red-light treatments and hydrating skincare products can halt bodies trying to devolve into primordial-fish states and can improve the overall condition and firmness of your façade, reducing wrinkles and blemishes.

Though Darque Tan sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon is still the best deal available.