Well-tailored clothing faces stiff opposition from feral paintball guns, nudist colony presidents, and the Cheez Whiz. Defend your duds with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $50 worth of dry-cleaning and tailoring services at David E. White on Queens Avenue.
For 30 years, David E. White has upheld standards in properly fitting feminine apparel and the ins-and-outs of masculine maintenance. Fellows are fitted and trimmed from dapper head nod to dandy toe tap, while women accentuate appropriate curves with custom tailored shirts, pants, and more. Paint waists ($16-$20) are adjusted to the individual, and European style jean hems ($18) can be taken in or out. The expert tailors taper trouser and suits ($12–$45), taking in sleeves that caress the knuckles with unearned intimacy and installing convenient water balloon pouches in pant legs.
Those assured of their sartorial savant status can opt for David E. White's dry-cleaning services, where an experienced staff cleanses and presses suits ($15.95), pants ($7.50), and shirts ($2.45). This Groupon's balance can be used over the course of multiple visits, resolving the mixed blessings of defending pie eating contest titles.