A perfectly white smile determines how others perceive you by shining brightly enough to blind them to your second head and compound eyes. Let dazzling teeth disguise the effects of your mad-science hobby with today’s Groupon: for $59, you get a teeth cleaning, exam, and x-rays (a $353 value) at David L. Jones, DDS and Associates in Virginia Beach.

Dr. Jones and his crack team of hygienists have been keeping family food-smashers clean and uncavitied for nearly 20 years. A plaque-busting cleaning (an $83 value) and exam (a $69 value) will clear the splattered bugs from your smile while checking it for multiple mandible maladies, such as oral cancer, periodontal disease, TMJ, and occlusal oddities. Technicians will then delve into your mouth-cave for cavities and hobgoblins with a Panorex wrap-around x-ray (a $109 value) and four flightless bite-wing x-rays (a $92 value).