Acupuncture is said to unblock the body’s energy pathways, similar to the way a busy sidewalk is easily cleared by poking pedestrians with a javelin. Dismiss obstructions with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a weight-loss acupuncture treatment at Double Happiness Acupuncture (a $100 value).

Double Happiness fosters a holistic balance of comprehensive wellness with a host of ancient traditional Eastern methods. Helmed by licensed acupuncturist Mary-Beth Thompson, a consultation commences with a thorough analysis of the client's health history, dietary patterns, and squirrel-catching habits to hone in on imbalances that may inspire weight gain or sluggish bodily function. After formulating an appropriate course of action, Thompson enacts a custom-tailored acupuncture treatment pattern based on the ancient art of painlessly inserting sterile needles at critical pressure points to bolster energy levels and alleviate the stress that may lead to weight gain. To commemorate the session, clients receive a weight loss report from Thompson, which details recommendations for a healthy diet, herbal medicines (not included with your Groupon), and lifestyle changes.