Paintball is like a production of Hamlet: it’s exciting, it’s demanding, and by the end everyone has pretend-died. Take paintball arms against a sea of troubles with today’s Groupon: for $19, you get an all-day paintball outing at SplatBrothers Paintball Park in Hopewell (a $39.95 value). The outing includes the following:
- A Tippmann 98 Custom paintball gun
- A facemask and goggles
- Unlimited air supply
- 200 paintballs<p>
At SplatBrothers Paintball Park, patrons engage in a full day of faux warfare amid a cannonade of pigmented globules crisscrossing throughout a circuit of 14 battlegrounds. SplatBrothers equips each combat-seeking customer with all manner of battle-ready accouterments, including a Tippmann 98 Custom paintball gun, an unlimited air supply, 200 paintballs, and a facemask with goggles to protect prized temporary tattoos of warlike unicorns. Keep your head on an ever-swiveling headstand as you take cover in deep trenches and traverse treacherous ravines, or execute a stealthy military crawl to ambush frenemies as they attempt to lay claim to your team’s flag or besiege your base.
Players who run through their 200-paintball allotments can purchase new projectiles from the pro shop ($20+ for 500 paintballs). The paint-soaked battlegrounds are open on Saturday and Sunday only, and patrons should be advised to dress appropriately: the paint washes out, but clothes are likely to collect grime from elusive barrel rolls and the tears of overacted pretend-death sequences.
SplatBrothers Paintball Park
Modeled after video games, scenes from famous movies, and real-life wars, SplatBrothers Paintball Park's outdoor fields challenge first-time and returning players alike with obstacle-cluttered terrain that change early and often. Players can duck for cover in a school bus, ice-cream truck, or disco van, surprise opponents hiding in a chicken coop, or lead attacks from more than 40 bunkers strewn across a spool-littered field. They can also sneak through a trapdoor to climb to the top of a three-story tower, which looms above a field the size of two football fields or 200 one-yard models of football fields.
In between gaming scenarios such as capture the flag and freeze tag, players reload and rehydrate in the Welcome Center, where visitors test their aim at the target range, watch bouts from the viewing area, or feast at picnic tables. Along with private weekday and public weekend games, SplatBrothers Paintball Park hosts tournaments, scenario games, and monthly big games based on pop-culture staples such as Angry Birds and The Walking Dead.