Light comes in many forms—be it beautiful, like a rainbow, practical, like a laser, or awe-inspiring, like an applause sign’s first live studio performance. Harness the beautifying power of light with this Groupon: for $999, you get six Zerona body-slimming laser treatments and a consultation at Fabulous Chiropractic (a $2,500 value).
Doctor of Chiropractic Kathryn Kilpatrick and the experienced staff at Fabulous Chiropractic harness FDA-approved Zerona cold-laser technology, designed to reduce corporeal circumferences by an average of 3.5 inches. During each session, clients relax beneath a beam-slinging apparatus for 40 minutes as it glides low-light lasers over their waistline, back, hips, and thighs, emulsifying adipose tissue so that fat can sneak its way out of the body. The disintegrated lipid deposits can then be absorbed by the body’s obsessively tidy lymphatic system and expelled through the body’s natural detoxification process and complex system of water-slides. The noninvasive treatment does not require any recovery time.
Technicians perform the six treatment sessions over the span of two weeks. Patients can boost results with healthy eating habits, daily exercise, and regular hydration. Like sumo-wrestling costumes, caffeine and alcohol decrease the procedure’s potency.
Dr. Kathryn Kilpatrick focuses her chiropractic expertise on boosting energy and soothing pain. She rectifies the spine with low-impact adjustments and boosts the metabolism with nutritional supplements and supplements to supplement the supplements. She also summons the aid of machines, such as the Zerona laser for body contouring, infrared pads for detoxification, and movie projectors for prescription-strength screenings of The Brave Little Toaster.