Since humans have had necks, they have craned them to look at the stars, making astronomy the oldest profession and chiropractic the second oldest. Align yourself for continued constellation-scoping with today’s Groupon: for $47, you get a chiropractic-exam package at Delta Chiropractic Center (a $150 total value). The package includes:

• Exam (a $50 value)
• Chiropractic adjustment (a $45 value)
• 60-minute massage (a $55 value)
• Complimentary computerized Pro-Adjuster scan and consultation<p>

At Delta Chiropractic Center, winner of Capital City Pulse’s 2011 Top of the Town award, a trio of experienced doctors of chiropractic employs an array of techniques to straighten crooked spines. The practitioners first conduct an initial consultation to review clinical histories and then examine musculoskeletal systems with standard neurological, orthopedic, and postural tests. Next, a computerized analysis and treatment system known as the Pro-Adjuster lightly taps backbones back into place without the aggressive twisting or giant wrenches typically used in manual adjustments. This technology is in keeping with Delta’s holistic philosophy and provides postsurgical patients and those with advanced arthritis a gentle means of treatment.

With spines realigned, patrons are transferred into the caring hands of certified massage therapists, who mollycoddle torsos and extremities with deep-tissue and trigger-point techniques. Each chiropractic and massage session lasts a total of two hours and can help to ease conditions such as headaches and excessive frowny faces.