Talented sculptors can make a man out of marble, a swan out of ice, and a functioning defibrillator out of cotton candy. Turn your body into a finely chiseled work of art with today’s Groupon for Dermique, a Medical Laser Skin Spa in Feeding Hills. Choose from the following edifice-enhancing options:

• For $1,195, you get six Zerona body-slimming laser treatments, including supplements, SmoothShapes sessions, and pre- and posttreatment appointments (a $2,395 value).
• For $168, you get a Botox treatment of up to 24 units for the crow's feet or glabella (up to a $336 value).
• For $89, you get three laser hair-removal sessions targeting the underarms, bikini line, or upper lip (up to a $600 value).

Dermique provides its clients with a comprehensive array of exterior services, attacking imperfections with an arsenal of state-of-the-art treatments and equipment wielded by a professional team loaded with medical professionals and laser-tag champions. During six 40-minute Zerona sessions over the course of two weeks, a low-intensity laser emulsifies stubborn fat pockets on both sides of the body so that a SmoothShapes lymph massage can hurry the liquefied lard out of the body through normal detox channels. Bodies thus liberated from excess girth can immediately return to regular activities, such as unicycling backward or chanting the Cyrillic alphabet. A 10-minute Botox treatment can banish frown furrows for up to four months—around the same time it takes a turtle to finish the Indy 500. Or, the laser hair removal's CoolGlide laser zaps overzealous follicles with strand-ending energies. Buy two Groupons to cover a full six-session regimen for maximum results. Call ahead for an appointment.

Botox may cause serious side effects that can be life threatening, including problems swallowing, speaking, or breathing. Read all safety considerations for Botox here.