Cars are vain and sensitive; they care about how they look and want their owners to feel proud driving them, even if it's through an inconveniently placed fruit stand. Stroke your auto's ego with today's Groupon: for $95, you get on-location auto detailing (a $245 value) from Detail Master LLC, servicing stationary highway chariots within a 15-mile radius of zip code 19801 (cars 15–30 miles away can be treated for an additional $20 fee).
Detail Master's highly trained staff whisks water tanks, electric generators, air compressors, and eco-friendly, water-based cleaning products to vehicles eagerly awaiting a bath. The platinum package takes one to three hours and consists of 21 detoxifying steps, including a thorough hand wash and dry, wheel-well irrigation, and vacuuming of moldering granola deposits and pygmy marmosets. An ozone generator dispatches O3 patrols to scare off unwanted smells and gangs of bacteria from interiors, then contaminants on cars' exteriors are absorbed and removed with a clay-bar rub down. Technicians scoop out muck from door and trunk jambs, shampoo carpets and condition leather surfaces, and help prevent rusting by power-washing undercarriages. Wheels are also hand-waxed, a treatment that minimizes dust buildup and ensures rim moustaches remain at peak twirliness.