Cars are vain and sensitive; they care about how they look and want their owners to feel proud driving them, even if it's through an inconveniently placed fruit stand. Stroke your auto's ego with today's deal: for $99, you get an auto detailing from Detail Master LLC, a mobile detailing company that will come to you like a shout of eureka. Detail Master services cars within a 30-mile radius of zip code 19107 free of charge. An additional $20 is charged for locations outside of this service area, as long as they are within Pennsylvania or New Jersey.

After purchasing today's Groupon, cover it in black and white checkmarks and flag down Detail Master's mobile detailing van. Over the course of six to seven hours, highly trained servicers will give your car's appearance a thorough overhaul (a $240–$260 value, depending on size of car). This platinum detailing service consists of numerous features: technicians provide a detailed hand wash and dry, scoop out dried muck from door and trunk jambs, irrigate the wheel wells, cleanse the interior of moldering granola deposits and pygmy marmosets, correct tire pressure, and more. Your car will emerge fresh and gleaming as the day it rolled off the lot, long blonde hair sparkling in the sunlight as it imagines a sports-training montage.

Unlike a baby, a car won't cry or call child services if you don't take care of it, but, like a carefully tended baby, a well-maintained car won't disappoint you in its teenage years. Besides keeping your auto looking pretty for big dates, grocery-store marathons, and provoking your old car into a jealous rage, detailing services actually help preserve a car's body and interior, which can increase resale value and prolong shelf life. With detailing done by the hands of Detail Master's expert staff, however, you won't want to keep your car cosseted away. Show your ride off with pride thanks to today's Groupon.

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