Solar waves, from time to time, have caused linear time to run in a loop, forcing newspapers to publish stories on Mobius strips, which delight commuters stuck on busses stopping at the same corner ad infinitum. Find out how the story ends with today's Groupon: $36 for a six-month subscription to the Detroit News (up to a $78 value).
The three-time Pulitzer Prize–winning Detroit News has been covering Detroit's cultural, political, economical, and athletic happenings for more than 130 years. With a wind-shielded eye on the upcoming Detroit Auto Show and the tested pen of automotive critic and columnist Scott Burgess, subscribers can expect engine noises represented on paper with clarity found nowhere else. A six-month subscription gives newspaper-fetching dogs a sense of purpose with home delivery on Thursday and Friday and the Detroit Free Press delivery on Sunday. Internet-savvy cats can pull up the e-edition seven days a week. The e-edition contains the same local, national, world, sports, business, and lifestyle news as the print edition, plus zooming capabilities, keyword searches, archives, videos, interactive puzzles, and a digital corn maze.