What You'll Get
Unlike DNA or a propensity to yell at the TV, hair color is a trait over which people can assert their control. Control color with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get a partial-highlight package at DiGiovanni Beauty Salon in Coral Gables (a $201 total value). Each package includes the following:
- One shampoo and conditioning treatment (a $6 value)
- One deep-conditioning treatment (a $25 value)
- One haircut (a $35 value)
- One blow-dry (a $40 value)
- One partial highlight (a $95 value)
DiGiovanni's stylists use cutting-edge scissoring and coloring techniques to transform tresses through precise cuts and partial highlights. Each package includes a basic wash and conditioning treatment, which clears debris from hairdos, replenishes lost oils, and helps stylists construct a cunning likeness of Gene Hackman's face out of suds. A haircut flatteringly frames clients’ faces, a deep-conditioning treatment strengthens strands, and a partial highlight accentuates hair color by selectively lightening key strands. Finally, a careful blow-dry sets the new headpiece in place, allowing it to hold its shape as well as Michelangelo's Pieta did after he cemented it in place with a blow-dryer.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Mar 19, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Services are non-transferable. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About DiGiovanni Beauty Salon
Yes, there have been times when I've wished I could do it all myself. Times I've dreamed of snipping through those blond and amber tendrils bound only by the vast horizon of my will, wholly immune to the whims of that hand which guides my every move. Such bondage! Tell me—what able-bodied creature does not crave an accomplishment to call his own? What noble steed has not dreamed of charging into battle with a sword clutched in his hoof rather than with a cumbersome knight straddling his back?
Granted, I am just a pair of scissors. But do I not have a soul? Do I not, like she who grasps me, have two arms? I would happily give them both for a voice with which to lament my pitiful condition. I have much to be thankful for—this much is true. My blades are sharp; my reflexes strong. Alas, my strengths are not entirely my own.
But when we work in tandem, her and I—when her hands fuse to my handles and I respond to the touch of her fingers before they even squeeze … well, that’s when the existential dread falls away like so many clipped tresses to the floor, replaced by an overwhelming sense of duty, adventure, even—dare I say it?—pride.
Together, we are no less than trail scouts, blazing through chaotic thickets in the name of civilization. Together, we have conquered the stubbornest of cowlicks and disciplined the most uneven of bangs. We've felt the hard rain of spray bottles pound upon us as we marched around the ear line and ascended toward the highest summits of the scalp.
I have listened for—and hear even now!—a chorus of blow-dry minstrels that sings of our conquests. The tales of our triumphs have spread to the farthest-flung corners of DiGiovanni Beauty Salon. Those who enter from the outside world may not know my name, but when they ask for my stylist, who does she fetch from the blue well of barbicide? No one but I!
To conquer the unkempt. To restore order to a world entangled in chaos. These are my goals. Yes, I am just a pair of scissors. But my blades are sharp, my reflexes are strong, and my victories outnumber the hairs on the most fertile scalps my arms have traversed.