Household grime, if left unchecked, will inevitably develop into miniature civilizations whose complex network of treaties erupts into a devastating house-wide reenactment of World War I. Avoid tripping over tiny trenches with today's Groupon: for $78, you get up to 200 square feet of tile and grout cleaning from Dirty Grout (a $156 value).

Dirty Grout's meticulous floor scrubbers strive to restore tile and grout to a pristine, just-out-of-the-oven state using eco-friendly products and practices. After a preliminary inspection of the targeted area, a team of tile tidy-uppers apply a gentle emulsification solution to loosen accumulated soil and grease and evict stubborn grout squatters, then treat the floor surface to a powerful scouring with a segmented bristle brush. Each grout line receives a scrubbing by hand before Dirty Grout's diligent staffers repeat the entire process to make sure they leave tiles and their fusing frames gleaming. A hot-water rinse precedes the entrance of a high-velocity dryer, which speedily removes moisture and straightens out cowlicks. Dirty Grout will also throw in a 30 per cent discount toward sealing services, designed to close pore openings in grout to keep out dirt, oils, and travelling germ rodeos.