Teeth are a gift from Isis given only to deserving species, as evidenced by the selfishness of ducks and the smugness of turtles. Today's Groupon to Discovery Dental Centers keeps the goddess from giving your messy molars away to a less negligent anteater: for $59, new patients get a dental exam, x-rays, and a teeth cleaning (a $303 total value). You can use your Groupon at any of Discovery Dental's seven area locations.
Discovery Dental founder Dr. Michael Heiland is one of St. Louis magazine's top area dentists. Each of Discovery's seven locations has its own resident dentist and talented team of tooth techs, who'll peer deep into your mouth for signs of trouble, take pictures of your teeth for Discovery's yearbook, and address any concerns, pains, or existential ennui. Your four bitewing and panoramic x-rays can reveal unseen problems such as bone loss, tumors, and fear of commitment. Finally, a meticulous cleaning gives the heave-ho to any tartar and plaque buildup, clearing the way for future generations of inevitable meal remnants. You'll leave with a smile bright enough to melt hearts, including your own, so be careful around mirrors.
Teeth have all kinds of useful uses. They make passable chef tuques for G.I. Joe action figures. Incisors can double as bulletin-board thumbtacks. Dislodged molars make functional 12-sided dice for all dexterity-related calculations in Dungeons & Dragons. As such, it's important to remind them that they're loved every six months, lest they feel neglected and non-smiley. Today's Groupon to Discovery Dental Centers will give them this reminder so that they stop filling your mouth with their tears.
Discovery Dental Centers
A posse of tooth clinicians staffs multiple area locations, all under the direction of Dr. Michael Heiland, named one of St. Louis Magazine's top dentists for three years in a row. The doctor and his dental hygienists perform preventative, cosmetic, and pediatric services ranging from traditional exams and x-rays to advanced teeth-whitening procedures. The team also upholds its mission statement by keeping patients informed, outfitting them with all the facts they need to maintain smiles and coveted high school titles, such as "Most Likely to Be Famous as Long as He or She Maintains Clean Teeth."