What You'll Get
Only the most deserving species receive teeth, which explains the bare-mouthed lives of the morally dubious duck and hard-drinking turtle. Take advantage of your lofty station with today's deal: for $125, new patients get a custom-made teeth-whitening tray (a $395 value) at Distinctive Smiles of Dublin, which, as the name coyly suggests, is in Dublin.
With today's Groupon secreted in a cheek pocket, make an appointment to have one of Distinctive Smiles' dashing dentists forge a custom teeth-whitening tray from an impression of your mouth ($113 value) after an initial examination ($47 value). The staff loves to keep its patients relaxed, comfortable, and informed. To this end, they only rarely blast teeth with electricity from passing storms for the purposes of bringing them back to life. Once the whitening tray ($198 value) is crafted to fit your primary head hole, you'll get to take it home with a supply of Opalescence take-home whitening gel ($37) for bone-blankening at your convenience. The sticky gel saturates teeth via the tray without migrating to gums, trachea, or spleen lining—resulting in gradually brightening mouth-bones sure to dazzle even the most jaded onlooker or grizzled bear.
Years of wine drinking, cigarette smoking, and making out with espresso machines all contribute to staining teeth a few shades darker than they should be. A bright smile increases confidence, which in turn creates more smiles, sparking a viciously delightful cycle of feeling good. Sparkling teeth are a necessity for work in modeling, acting, and professional chewing, so there should be no shortage of motivation for taking advantage of today's deal. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 3, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person. Limit 1 per household. New patients only. By appointment only. Not valid for patients with periodontal needs. If requirements not met, value may be used toward necessary follow-up treatment. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Distinctive Smiles of Dublin
After earning his doctorate in dental surgery from Ohio State, local boy Dr. Buck remained in his home state to practice cosmetic, restorative, and general dentistry. He and his team build long-term relationships with their patients by remaining clear and honest about all procedures, whether it's a teeth whitening or full-mouth rehabilitation when disease, injury, or decay has becoming seemingly overwhelming. They understand trust is just as important as comfort, which is why they also offer oral sedation and nitrous oxide to ease patient anxieties about procedures such as root canals, dental implants, or the extraction of wisdom teeth not smart enough to stay out of trouble.