In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a 60-minute, deep-tissue massage at Douglasville Therapeutic Massage (a $70 value).
In a homey environment enhanced by decorative foliage, wicker furniture, and rocking chairs, Therapeutic Massage's licensed league of ache-alleviators prevails against body soreness by employing safe and effective massage techniques. A 60-minute deep-tissue massage rewards hard-working soul satchels with a much-needed kneading, realigning deep layers of muscle to relieve chronic pain caused by heaving, lifting, and competitive penguin wrestling. Soothees are encouraged to fill out the client intake form prior to their visit, so that the therapists at Therapeutic Massage can exorcize their personal aches more successfully.