Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into frozen tundra and then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $2,750, you get a complete Invisalign treatment, including an examination, x-rays, and impressions from Doctor Christopher Hooper in Virginia Beach (a $5,900 value).

Dr. Hooper puts asymmetrical smiles back in line with Invisalign, which straightens crooked chompers with a combination of highly advanced 3-D computer graphics, and the spells of old-fashioned orthodontia. The Invisalign process eschews cumbersome braces for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial 30-minute exam, including x-rays, photos, and impressions of mouth terrain, paves the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift walnut crackers into perfect alignment. View some Invisalign FAQs here.

As teeth slowly shift, new sets of aligners are introduced every two weeks, with patients returning to Dr. Hooper once every six weeks to ensure their mouths are metamorphosing according to plan. Depending on the client’s teeth, as few as 12 or as many as 48 separate aligners will need to be worn during a period of 6–15 months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw.