Without teeth, tongues would slither out of mouths and go on to lead unfulfilling lives catching raindrops and licking strangers' faces. Keep a stir-crazy taste muscle contained in a gleaming cage with today's Groupon: for $27, you get a new-patient cleaning, which includes a cleaning, bitewing x-rays, and a treatment plan at Dr. Dental (a $57 value). This Groupon is valid at 13 locations throughout Massachusetts and New Hampshire.

The multi-lingual staff at Dr. Dental, a family-run practice owned by Dr. Julia O. Faigel, strives to shatter orthodontic stereotypes by tidying up tusks in an unintimidating office sporting the ambience of a friendly neighborhood establishment. Return choppers to a glowing state with a new-patient cleaning, a procedure that polishes pearly whites and analyzes teeth’s deep-seated fear of falling out and being exiled by a fairy. After a deep cleaning, the non-judgmental dentist administers bitewing x-rays to inspect for toothy ailments and lays out a long-term treatment plan for molar maintenance. Many locations offer after-hours and weekend appointment times for patients who are busy with work, family, or animal husbandry.