Like eagles, humans evolved with binocular vision to enhance their predatory advantage and to suggestively wink at attractive airplane pilots. Outfit eyes for optimal nonverbal communication with today's Groupon: for $49, you get an eye exam and $200 toward a pair of prescription eyeglasses or $100 toward contact lenses from Dr. Foad J. Shirazian, Optometrist in Tarzana (a $289 total value).

Accomplished optometrist Dr. Foad J. Shirazian has a knack for sizing up eyes in need of enhancement. First, a preventative computer-powered examination serves to rule out diseases, inflammation, and chronically hypnotized pupils before the doc determines each client’s proper prescription strength in 20–40 minutes. Customers can then put their $200 vision-wear voucher toward prescription lenses ($69+ for single-vision lenses) and a selection of basic and designer frames ($49–$500, with average cost around $190) that include eyebrow ornaments by Jimmy Choo and Michael Kors. Alternately, a $100 contact-lens voucher helps liberate the visage from nose-pinching frames or annoying bifocal lines that lift and rise with the moon's rotation. Most eyeglasses are ready for pickup in 1–2 weeks depending on prescription complexity or any add-ons or customizations.