In emergency situations, moonlight reflected off pearly whites creates a beaming beacon that registers in the canine-visible spectrum of light. With today’s Groupon, equip your smile with brightness that definitely will one day save your life: for $189, you get the Zoom! Teeth Whitening Treatment (a $620 value) at Dr. Gloria Dental Care in Sterling.

The Zoom! Whitening Teeth Treatment is a simple, non-invasive whitening system that can brighten teeth by 6 to 10 shades. A clinician will prepare the mouth by covering lips and gums, then apply the proprietary Zoom! whitening gel. In just over an hour, the gel, activated by a special light, penetrates stains caused by drinking coffee, eating food, smoking, and smoking food. After the simple Zoom! procedure, your teeth will be flowing with more white than a baking soda truck falling off Niagara Falls.

Dr. Gloria Dental Care takes its name from the devout tooth whisperer who spearheads the whole operation. Dr. Gloria has more than 10 years of experience cleaning and sparkling mouthbones in northern Virginia, and her office uses the most advanced technology to provide a quality dental environment that might be the setting for future human-robot romance novels.