What You'll Get
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Get your derelict body up to snuff with today's Groupon to Elite Chiropractic and Sports Rehabilitation Center. For $29, you get a consultation and chiropractic exam, a nutritional analysis, and manual muscle therapy, a total value of $85. Once you have your Groupon, call ahead to make an appointment, and expect to be at the Center for 45 minutes.
Elite Chiropractic's Heather L. Morales has a Doctorate of Chiropractic degree from Logan College of Chiropractic, as well as a Master's of Sports Science and Rehabilitation. Dr. Morales specializes in helping athletes reach the figurative mountaintop of peak wellness for safe and superior sports performance and quality of life, but she brings the same intensity and passion to professional knitters, think tankers, and microbiologists combating and/or creating the next global super-flu.
Dr. Morales will examine your aches and discuss your complaints to determine whether chiropractic care or small adjustments will repair that old vending machine–reaching injury and get you back on the road to wellville. You'll get a manual muscle-therapy treatment that can reduce scar tissue and muscle adhesions, speed up recovery from musculoskeletal injuries, and increase flexibility. Your doctor will also take a one-week look at your diet and suggest small changes to help you lose weight and fight chronic fatigue or pain (known in folklore as Sluggy and Stabby).
While laziness can be all fun and fudgesicles, fatigue and pain are debilitating states that can hinder your ability to bounce on backyard trampolines or talk to chatty cable providers. Find out if chiropractic care is right for you with today's Groupon, and ride the wave of Yuletide spirits on a magical crime-fighting dolphin of wellness.
Reviews
Though most of Dr. Morales's patients are too busy doing somersaults, one Yelper gives her five stars:
- Excellent practice...My back has never felt better and generally I feel a lot looser performing my day-to-day activities as well as on the ice. – Sean D.
Dem Bones
As children, we learn that the knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone, and the thigh bone’s connected to the hip bone. After that, it gets a bit hazy. Fortunately, we’ve compiled this helpful list of reminders so you can keep it all straight.
- The head bone’s connected to the eye bones.
- The Zapruder film is connected to the Trilateral Commission.
- The Facebook is connected to the productivity meeting at 10 o’clock.
- The glass eye isn’t connected to anything; it’s just kind of in there.
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The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 27, 2010. Amount paid never expires. 1 per person. Not valid with other offers. Appointment required. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.