Teeth become discolored after years of drinking coffee, and seconds after growling at a squid. Erase stains from your pearly whites with today’s Groupon to Dr. Robert E. Loy. Choose from the following options:

• For $99, you get a Pola in-office teeth-whitening treatment (a $350 value).
  
  

• For $155, you get a dental package (a $600 total value), which includes the following:
• One dental-health session, which includes an exam, x-rays, and a cleaning (a $250 value)

• One Pola in-office teeth whitening treatment ($350 value)
  
  

• For $198, you get a dental-whitening package (a $600 value), which includes the following:
• One Pola in-office teeth-whitening treatment ($350 value)
• Take-home trays (a $250 value)
  
  

Dr. Loy channels his 29 years of experience as he scrutinizes, cleans, and whitens sullied chompers with help from his professional staff. Basic dental-maintenance sessions begin when experts carefully spelunk through patients’ maws in search of the visible signs of dental disease. X-rays then peer beneath outer tooth crusts to unveil secret societies of decay. Lastly, hygienists scour tarnished tusks before hanging them out to dry in the warm sun. During teeth-whitening sessions, the Pola Office system brightens bites in 45 minutes without a bleaching light or 30 minutes if a light is used. First, specialists slather fangs with a formula comprised of hydrogen peroxide, a whitening agent, and potassium nitrate, which helps reduce post-treatment sensitivity and is easily removed with Pola’s flexible gingival barrier. Clients can also adopt their very own Pola take-home trays to continue the bleaching process in the comfort of their own living rooms, bedrooms, and makeshift quilt forts.

Dr. Loy’s office carves private treatment areas out of inviting open spaces with walls of streamlined dental equipment. A separate closed room awaits those who desire a more traditional setting or the ability to sing garbled show tunes away from prying ears.