Prior to dentists, humans were forced to shine their own teeth with fleets of flea-driven miniature Zambonis. Marvel at modern smile-brighteners with today's Groupon: for $149, you get a LumaLite teeth-whitening treatment, plus a complimentary take-home touchup pen, at Dream Smile Dental in Canton (a $400 value).

The cheery staff at Dream Smile Dental turns on smile beams with sophisticated LumaLite technology in a spa-like setting. Clients enter an aromatherapy-scented retreat and sip on a complimentary cappuccino for one last enamel-darkening hurrah before a consultation to determine if he or she is a candidate for the treatment. The one-hour LumaLite whitening session employs a light-activated gel applied directly to chompers to render smiles up to nine shades brighter, the equivalent of being kissed by nine unicorns. A complimentary touchup pen helps to extend the pearly whiteness of cuisine crushers in the comfort of one's own abode. A hygiene visit is recommended within six months before the whitening procedure to ensure that teeth are in proper fighting shape.