Similar to past tenses, tense backs are related to things that happened a while ago and are incomprehensible to most second-graders. Learn to understand back-based bliss with today's Groupon: for $32, you get a one-hour massage at Ecocentric Green Salon and Spa (a $65 value).
Helmed by a staff of green-minded pampering professionals, Ecocentric helps renew tired tendons and beleaguered backs, recycling and repurposing them into stronger, bendier versions of themselves. The Inner Peace massage caters to each individual client, focusing on the entire body or zeroing in on particularly needy areas. Over the course of an hour, tense tissues nestled inside muscles, backs, limbs, and corporeal tissue boxes will quickly melt into slack spheroids of Silly Putty beneath a licensed therapist's stress-melting, toxin-releasing, barnacle-banishing fingers.
In addition to using naturally derived, cruelty-free products, Ecocentric incorporates energy-efficient light bulbs and repurposed equipment into its tranquil, sun-dappled interior. The salon—always committed to earth-minded causes—donates hair clippings from its salon services for Matter of Trust, an organization that morphs tress scraps into oil-absorbing mega mats to help with Gulf cleanup.