According to an old saying, your home is your castle, your television is your court jester, and your dog is your moat. Repel invading dust-bunny hordes with today's Groupon: for $84, you get three man hours of house cleaning from Elegant Touch Cleaning (up to a $175 value).

Licensed, bonded, and insured, Elegant Touch's housekeepers are professionals who can be trusted to treat your house with respect and never make silly faces in your mirrors. They'll give floors custom facials with sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping, and they'll clean the essentials in any food factory, including kitchen counters, stove tops, and appliance exteriors. Bathrooms get a thorough bath, improving their ability to bathe you. Plus, despite its delicate moniker, Elegant Touch doesn't shy away from dirty work; its technicians will clean toilets, dust, take out the trash, and break up with your significant other.

Ask for eco-friendly products that are as friendly to the environment as they are rude to dust bunnies. Green cleaning is available upon request at no extra charge.