Exclusive club membership offers the belongingness of the womb without the mortification of tripping over an umbilical cord while trying to raise a wine glass with vestigial webbed fingers. Embrace exclusivity with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a membership good for one year of local discounts from Elite Card Club (a $99.99 value).
Elite Card Club members live the high life with discounts to more than 300 Orlando restaurants, hotels, stores, and services. Shed dreary duds and embrace style with discounts from retailers such as Allen Edmonds, Cole Haan, and Polo Ralph Lauren, and stay at the forefront of four-wheeled fashion with deals from Aston Martin, Porsche, and the patented hover-carriage. Practical deals on doctor visits, taxi rides, haircuts, and architecture services all slide in well under full price. For evening amusement, card-carrying members can doubly impress tall friends with a discounted limousine ride to a discounted Orlando Magic game.