$40 for a Four-Room Carpet Cleaning from Elite Carpet Care

Like many other body parts, feet that come into contact with an unclean surface immediately cramp up and refuse to function until you've bathed them in shea butter. Outwit your snobby skin with today's Groupon: for $40, you get carpet-cleaning services for four rooms (valid for a total of up to 1,000 sq. ft.; up to a $100 value) from Elite Carpet Care. Elite's expert scrubbers specialize in thoroughly cleaning carpets, tiles, and upholstery and will travel up to 15 miles outside of Lexington. To show its earth-friendliness, Elite runs its trucks with 100% recycled vegetable oil and employs natural cleaning agents that are healthier for your pets, kids, and guests than industrial cleaners. With today's deal, the floor pads in four of your rooms will be flooded with careful carpet-cleaning attention, completely freeing them from the built-up dirt that slowly asphyxiates them like a sentient pillow stifling a Care Bear.