Well-toned muscles make a person more attractive to potential partners by defining abs, exposing biceps, and having perfect pitch when struck by xylophone mallets. Obtain an on-key physique with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a one-month membership to Elite Fitness in Midland (a $72.45 value).
Elite Fitness sprawls across 7,500 square feet, buffing bods and increasing lung capacity with 65 weight and cardio machines and more than 7,000 pounds of free weights. Group classes, including aerobics, yoga, and jiu-jitsu, ensure repeated workouts through communal encouragement, and complimentary personal trainers motivate muscles that refuse to flex or do their homework. Locker rooms provide lockable storage cubicles for finery and showers for rinsing off nonremovable attire. Members can celebrate successful workouts with a fruit smoothie blended at the Elite Fitness smoothie stand or can give melanin a workout in a stand-up tanning bed. Free parking is provided; however, those who prefer a motorless treadmill can walk or propel a giant hamster ball to the gym along Tay Shore Trail.