Seventeenth-century shipping routes drastically improved once navigators began referring to actual maps of waterways instead of the spider veins on their thighs. Steer clear of veiny skin with today's Groupon: for $265, you get a 15-minute spider-vein treatment at Elite Vein Specialists in Walnut Creek (a $425 value). This Groupon also includes a pair of post-treatment medical-grade class 2 compression stockings (a $105 value), which are necessary to achieve the best results.

Under the Yale-trained, board-certified eye of Dr. Nicholas Hyde, Elite Vein Specialists helps eliminate pesky spider veins that blemish smooth legs. On the day of treatment, an initial consultation helps determine the correct method for returning the body's natural stilts to their glory days. During a 15-minute clean-up sclerotherapy session, purplish-blue and red spider veins will be goaded into exile. The low-pain procedure involves a physician injecting FDA-approved drugs into spider veins to help close them and prevent the growth of six additional legs. This Groupon is not valid for green reticular or varicose veins, but these vessel-ly vermin can be evaluated during the consultation at no additional cost.