What You'll Get
Vitamins allow humans to harness nature’s goodness in a compact pill form rather than slaughtering oranges for vitamin C and tickling calcium out of unsuspecting cows. Simplify your supplements with today’s Groupon to Elite Weight Loss. Choose between the following options:
- For $79, you get a four-week weight-loss package (up to a $470 value), which includes the following:
- Four-week weight-loss program with meal plan guidance (up to a $350 value)
- Four B12 injections (a $120 value)
- For $49, you get six B12 injections (a $180 value).<p>
Elite Weight Loss’s staff boosts energy and beautifies bods with nonsurgical cosmetic treatments and programs. Nurse practitioners conduct a medical intake exam during the weight-loss program, which includes a mini physical, EKG, lab work, and based on individual patient needs, prescription appetite suppressants. An initial dietary consultation plus three weekly examinations instruct patients on how to stock their cabinets with healthier fare and avoid unnecessary munching on peanut-butter-coated pinecones. Results typically manifest within one week, with patients losing up to 20 pounds in their first month and up to 2–5 pounds per week after—long enough to impress employers during job hunts or to successfully infiltrate and reside comfortably in the world’s thinnest house.
Alternatively, patients cultivate thinner frames without donning antiquated corsets and carnival mirrors via B12-injection treatments, conducted by a licensed nurse practitioner. B12 injections can help reduce cravings and limit water-weight retention while fighting tidal waves of fatigue with miniature surfboards of energy. A syringe wielder injects arms with an ultra-fine needle once a week.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Apr 18, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Must redeem injections in full by 4/18/12. Valid only for option purchased. 24hr cancellation notice required. May redeem across visits. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Thinique Medical Weight Loss
In this friendly office, a team of nurse practitioners, medical aestheticians, and certified medical assistants specializes in medically designed weight-loss programs, which augment wholesome diets and exercise with medicinal aids, such as vitamin injections and prescription appetite suppressants. Staffers also train in nonsurgical cosmetic treatments, such as Botox, Juvéderm, and clown-nose application.