Seventy-eight percent of household dirt is composed of embittered dust bunnies conspiring to overthrow the still-living cells of your face's protective outer layer. Take care of your skin before they do with the help of today's Groupon: for $49, you get an Ion Magnum inch-loss treatment plus your choice of any 45-minute facial or massage (up to a $174 value) from Eminence Day Spa, located in Cary.

The Ion Magnum treatment hooks clients up to a safe, muscle-manufacturing machine that boosts stamina and core strength without strenuous workout routines such as piano presses and medicine ball shot put. During each session (a $99 value), clients lay comfortably on a bed as a Velcro-like belt is strapped around a chosen target area (biceps, thighs, etc.). Pacemaker technology then targets buffness-building nerves that send cunning current to motor neurons in the brain, fooling them into believing that the body is enduring a vigorous fat-burning "workout." This massage-like treatment can help patrons achieve many of their physical goals, from losing a couple of inches from their waists or gaining a competitive advantage in forehead-flexing competitions.

Additionally, Eminence Day Spa's staff of passionate pore-purifiers will thoughtfully customize a facial treatment or body massage to satisfy the needs of each individual. From the soothing comforts of Eminence Day Spa's facilities, treatments are performed using all-natural products, washing away any guilt you might have about previously moisturizing with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Clients can opt for the Eminence Signature Facial, which includes a skin analysis, exfoliation, light extraction, and a facial massage that will rejuvenate your cells and relax your smiling muscles, or choose between the teen, Sweet Red Rose, or gentlemen's facials. The signature face treatment also comes with a décolleté (neck massage) and arm and hand massage, begging the philosophical question, "What is a face, anyway?" Stiff appendages don't stand a chance against the soothing hot-stone massage that features warm basalt stones gliding over sore muscles, melting away tension and restoring mobility to stone-stiff limbs.