When you add up all the little tasks - groceries, laundry, and everything else that makes up the nightly grind, after the daily grind - there's almost no time left for yourself. Like a moth to a flame, Groupon can't resist trying to solve even this most basic, seemingly unsolvable problem for our Groupies. To make your lives easier, we found Endeavor Concierge, whose staff of personal assistants will perform any and all of your errands for you, leaving you time to focus on the things that are important: saying hello to your children, reading a book, or renaming your dog (“Steve” never did suit him). With Endeavor Concierge, you can relax while your personal assistant puts on some Bachman-Turner Overdrive and gets down to takin' care of business. And today's Groupon gets you 24 credits for just $20: a 70% discount off the normal $67.75 price (70% is the biggest discount on personal butlers since the great Butler Bubble Burst of 1908).
What's a “credit”? Here's how it works: You buy credits from Endeavor that you redeem for different services. Each task costs a different amount of credits. Endeavor's rates are listed here; some of the most commonly-requested services include:
- Organizational projects: Endeavor will organize your office, closet, etc. (12 credits per hour)
- Sommelier: Endeavor picks the perfect wine for your occasion (1 credit)
- Gift Services: For example, Endeavor will help you arrange a flower order and delivery (3 credits)
- Grocery Shopping: Give Endeavor your list of food and liquor needs, and they'll pick it up (12 credits)
- Cleaning Service: Tell Endeavor how you want your place to look, and they'll arrange for home or office maid service (8 credits)
- Miscellaneous errand and delivery service (3 credits)
- Event Planning: Endeavor will organize catering and other event details (12 credits for a 10-person cocktail party, for example)
Don't hire 10 different people to walk your dog, take your broken car to the garage, plan your son’s bar mitzvah, pick up your dry cleaning, rearrange your furniture, and set your travel itinerary. And certainly don't do all that yourself, or you'll get a hernia. Endeavor can do it all for you, and more! The possibilities are truly endless. In fact, they'll do anything you ask them to, as long as it's legal. If you've ever wanted someone to remove the pits from your cherries before feeding them to you, Endeavor can do that. Wish someone would braid your children's hair into leashes so you can more easily manage them? You don't have the time, but Endeavor sure does (except in Utah, where child hair leashes became so common that they had to outlaw the practice. Remember: Endeavor doesn't take illegal requests).
Endeavor has offices at 1732 N. Mohawk St. and 3200 N. Lake Shore Dr., but of course they travel to wherever your errands must be done. Need a North Side basement thematically decorated for a 48-hour Lost marathon viewing party? South Side shoes need a shoeshine? Need to pick up some documents from Brussels? Endeavor's been there, done that, and they'll do it again.
Let Endeavor be the Smithers to your Burns, giving you time to consolidate your wealth and power and execute evil plans. Just reserve your personal assistant on their website, which features an easy-to-use calendar-based service reservation system unparalleled to any in the world. Get your Groupon.