Much like robots, children, and robotic children, bikes need to be regularly recalibrated to keep them from developing human emotions. Keep your bike performing at its functional, unfeeling best with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a standard bike tune-up at Endorphin Fitness (a $79.99 value).

Led by a shop manager with more than 25 years of experience as a bike mechanic, the Endorphin Fitness triathlon and bike shop’s crew of knowledgeable staff keep cyclists safely rolling around. During the standard tune-up, tandem technicians adjust brakes and gears and lubricate pivot points to ensure riders have the smoothest possible ride while aboard their bicycle. To improve bicycles’ miles per calorie ratios, mechanics true wheels and inflate tires to appropriate pressure levels. After a quick tightening of all nuts, bolts, and nults, bikes receive a frame polish sure to turn heads and inspire Krakowiak dance moves in the feet of onlookers.