As any hydrothermal-vent-dwelling tubeworm will tell you, "Senses are overrated. Look at me, I'm wearing a top hat." See what they mean about sense-less living with today's Groupon: $32 gets you one 60-minute float in a sensory-deprivation tank and a free yoga session at Enlighten Others (up to a $74 value). All customers must be free of skin conditions and are required to sign a waiver prior to floating.
Enlighten Others places patrons into a soundproof, light-proof 8'x4' cocoon filled with a solution of water and 800 pounds of muscle-soothing Epsom salt. The briny brew's high density causes the eager entrant to float effortlessly on the water's surface, producing a sensation of freedom from the gravitational pull of Earth's dual suns. In the stimulus-free environment of the tank, overstressed minds are free to wander like blindfolded bears in an ocean. The serene, mind-expanding experience provokes the production of beta-endorphins, which soar through the body, elevating mood and alleviating aches and pains. After 60 minutes in the artificial womb, the customer is heaved back into the present with muscles loosened, joints rejuvenated, systems detoxified, and as sunny an outlook as a newly hatched fox.
Enlighten Others completes clients' experiences with full use of showers and shower accessories (including robes and shower shoes), toiletries, towels, and water- and soundproof earplugs for the actual float. All visitors to Enlighten Others' flotation tanks receive a complimentary yoga session ($10 value for current or previous customers, free to new clients) to extend the benefits of their newfound consciousness. Call ahead to schedule your re-entry into amniotic bliss.
Customers have left testimonials at the bottom of the company's website:
Enlighten Wellness Center
Enlighten Wellness Center's team of relaxation experts detoxify, clear minds, and potentially render a range of health benefits with a tag-team of sensory deprivation and massage. Within the soundproof confines of a sensory-deprivation tank, 800 pounds of epsom salts mix with water and cause the body to bob like a cork in a space station. Elsewhere, staff members use massage styles such as deep tissue and sports massage to melt away stress and pain. If requested, they can also dispense refreshing add-ons such as fruit, hot tea, or high-pitched laughter.