Without the loosening effects of massage, shoulders would stiffen into immobility and fall victim to freeloading parrots and the burden of carrying Earth's heavyset brother, Girth. Pamper your perches with today's Groupon: for $25, you get a one-hour Swedish or therapeutic massage at Essential Touch in Dunnellon (a $50 value).
Accredited by the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork, massage therapist Sally Aalto gently digs into the back’s contours, relieving vertebrae and improving blood circulation during individualized one-hour treatments. Varying in pressure and depth depending on customer preference, the Swedish massage interchanges long, slow strokes with light, rhythmic taps synchronized to a recording of each patron's favorite speech by a secretary of agriculture. Therapeutic massages hone in on particular corporeal issues or chronic conditions in client spines, coupling relaxation with relief from discomfort.