Language is a system composed of meticulously placed symbols, just as revenge is a system composed of meticulously placed thumbtacks. Get your point across with today's Groupon: for $48, you get four hours of English or four and a half hours of Spanish classes at Express Languages in Naples (up to a $106.68 value).

Express Languages' trained, certified staff bestows the gift of bilingual expression and boasts a variety of classes designed to boost learners beyond the restrictions of their mother tongue. For the past decade, its educational approach has aimed to enrich listening, speaking, reading, and writing skills. Eight Spanish-language courses and nine ESL courses offer beginning to advanced semanticists an opportunity to fine-tune their previous skills or figure out the proper way to ask if they have mayonnaise on their faces.

Intimate classes consist of eight students on average, and in lieu of a set schedule, students' availability determines class times. All necessary course materials will be provided, but books cannot be taken home or burned for warmth.

Express Languages aims to supplement the basics of language skills with cultural knowledge and appreciation. For both Spanish and English levels, intermediate students will be given a placement test to determine which level they occupy, which class they should enroll in, and how they do on placement tests.