17th-century shipping routes drastically improved once navigators began referring to actual maps of waterways instead of the spider veins on their thighs. Steer clear of veiny skin with today's deal: for $150, you get three spider-vein treatments (a $594 value) at ExSalonce Laser & Esthetics in Oakville.

ExSalonce Laser & Esthetics' able aestheticians utilize state-of-the-art lasers to vanquish spider veins in a soothing spa atmosphere. Nestle like a newly hatched salmon fry into one of the beige- and coral-hued private rooms, and let a preliminary consultation clarify the procedure and pinpoint regions ripe for treatment. Using the NDYAG laser, veins will be tracked down, sternly reprimanded, and promptly escorted off the epidermis. Some unsightly squiggles may vanish before your eyes over the course of three 30-minute laser lasso roundups ($198 value each), while more stubborn splotches require one to three subsequent sessions.

Patients are advised to wait a month between treatments; those who begin now will have ample time to prepare their appendages for future spikes in temperature and socially acceptable pantslessness.