Without the in-home repairman, humans must face the perils of their battery-powered personal jackhammer or package and ship their ailing closets to black-market repairmen. Avoid untrustworthy refurbishers with today's Groupon: for $45, you get one hour of home or office repair from Faia Construction (a $90 value). Your Groupon is valid for labor only, and any materials will cost extra; you can redeem it in New Orleans, Metairie, Harahan, River Ridge, Kenner, and Destrehan.
Faia Construction has dexterously hammered, nailed, sanded, and commanded in the Greater New Orleans area since its incorporation by Sal and Kathy Faia in 1979 and its knighting by Sir Brian Dennehy a week later. All of their handiwork comes insured and certified lead-safe by the EPA, and Faia carries the distinction of being a Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist, developing practical ways to keep homes inhabitable for residents regardless of age, income, or ability. Verbal quotes on small projects and travel expenses come free of charge. With an hour of labor time, your Groupon works well for repairing sheetrock walls vandalized by billiard gangs or for installing metal grab bars in your bathroom and towel parlor. Whatever lingering project beckons your edifice, a friendly specialist will appear to assess and attack free of travel expenses.
Frequent home upkeep is important to the inner peace of your home. Unspackled cracks can open the door for an unsupervised lice luau, and creaky attic stairs can prevent clean getaways after practicing Sharpie calligraphy on the cheeks of a slumbering grandma. Be sure to mention your Groupon when calling ahead for an appointment.