Professional stock-car racing is both easier to learn and more thrilling than horse racing, since cars rarely stop mid-race and smile creepily to prove they have bigger teeth than their competitors. Today’s Groupon makes aspiring racecar drivers bare a massive grin of their own: for $140, you get professional racing instruction and 12 laps in a NASCAR stock car (a $281 value, including tax) from FastDog Motorsports at the Motordrome Speedway in Smithton. FastDog Motorsports provides a race suit, helmet, and hood, but you’ll need to arrive with closed-toe sneakers (not work boots) and casual clothes.

FastDog Motorsports' White Flag Package gives gearheads the chance to become a blurrily circling four-wheeled hero. Upon arriving at the Motordrome Speedway, you’ll start with a 45-minute course that covers the basics of the racecar, racing line, braking techniques, and race anatomy. After that, an experienced instructor will take you around in a speedway pace car, demonstrating how to expertly hug curves and possibly how to satisfyingly hug impassive baby-boomer fathers. Once you've absorbed the rules, you'll get to take the wheel and speed through ten Doppler-howling laps on the meticulously maintained half-mile track. Finally, you’ll switch seats one more time and feel the amped G-force settle you into your seat as your instructor takes you on an authentic two-lap qualifying run.

Drivers must bring their valid drivers’ licenses, which they can then compare to determine whose photo is the most soul-killing. Enjoy this rare opportunity to helm a lightning-fast, authentically palindromic racecar with some of Pennsylvania’s most experienced drivers riding shotgun.

All drivers must be at least 18 years of age. Drivers must weigh no more than 300 lbs and be no taller than 6'4". Cancellations must be submitted in writing. For more on the cancellation policy, see here.