If chimps ever learn that all they need for a fully functioning larynx is a microphone cord and green tea, zoos will be overrun with banana-based conversation. Drown out that scary thought with some spookier ones: for $7, today's Groupon gets you one admission to Field of Screams, which has moved this year to The Farmstead in Meridian; Field of Screams admission also includes admission to the rest of The Farmstead's attractions (pony rides, food, and merchandise cost extra). This Groupon expires on October 30, 2010.

Each Friday and Saturday night in October, thrill-seekers are lured to the fields of The Farmstead to test their fear capacity. Legend has it that the fields are haunted by the ghosts of local prisoners who disappeared inexplicably in 1972, after the release of Donny Osmond's "Puppy Love" sent them reeling into abject confusion. Since that fated year, a series of strange natural disasters, chilling winds, and ominous shadows have ruined all attempts at crop growth and healthy harvest. Stand up to these inconsiderate spirits with an army of friends, or apply a thick coat of glow-in-the-dark body-glitter and strut confidently alone into the Field of Screams. Bob in and out amongst the tall stalks of corn, keeping an eyeball peeled for abandoned farm equipment, sentient chainsaws, and escaped prisoners. If, when you arrive, you realize that you overestimated the contents of your courage knapsack, opt for a scoot down the kid-friendly Scaredy Cat Trail.

The Farmstead plays host to lots of less-terrifying seasonal fun as well, inviting clans to get lost in a 15-acre corn maze; tromp through eight acres of pumpkin patch to find a gourd the right shape and size for carving into a frightful simulacrum of Grover Cleveland; and make friendly bets as they cheer for racing piglets. Because a day of fresh air and outdoor adventure will make even the most autonomous robot hungry, The Farmstead also offers a variety of edibles. Choose from burgers, hot dogs, sausages, and sweet corn at The Burger Barn, fresh-made donuts at the Donut Shack on Fridays and Saturdays, Abe's Kettle Corn on most Fridays and Saturdays, and soft-drinks and hot apple-cider at The Watering Hole.

Reviews

Although there aren't many online reviews, owner Jim Lowe and his intricate corn mazes have been featured in the Deseret News, the Davis County Clipper, and Idaho Statesman:

• "Each visitor will leave with their heart pounding, adrenaline racing, and stories and laughter of another memorable Halloween season," said owner Jim Lowe. – Brenda Gutierrez, Idaho Statesman