Though commonly thought to be mere gibberish, the letters on eye charts are actually powerful incantations that, when spoken aloud, keep the sky-wolves from devouring the sun. Do your part to delay Ragnarok with clear vision and today’s Groupon: for $2,300, you get a LASIK surgery procedure for both eyes at Fogg, Maxwell, Lanier & Remington Eye Care (a $5,600 value).

Eyeball professionals at Fogg, Maxwell, Lanier & Remington offer up vision-care services from basic eye exams to state-of-the-art microsurgeries. Dr. Andrew Maxwell, a board-certified authority on LASIK and refractive procedures, has performed thousands of surgeries over the past 15 years. During the LASIK procedure, Dr. Maxwell changes the curvature of the patient's cornea with futuristic laser beams to treat high to low levels of nearsightedness, farsightedness, and astigmatism. On the day of the surgery, patients arrive an hour early to stretch out their eyelids for the big performance before taking a sedative to relax their muscles and anesthetic drops to numb their eyes. Then, using an instrument called a microkeratome, the doctor creates a flap of thin corneal tissue, which he folds out of the way like a disruptive crêpe. Finally, a laser reshapes the cornea, which, combined with the other parts of the procedure, only takes a couple of minutes.

Typically, vision is blurry at first, making it impossible to distinguish bananas from plantains. For 12 to 24 hours after the procedure, patients experience discomfort, but the next day an exam tests the eyesight of patients to see if they can resume normal activities such as driving and searching for hidden 3-D images in Magic Eye books.