A perfectly white smile determines how others perceive you by shining brightly enough to blind them to your second head and compound eyes. Let dazzling teeth disguise the effects of your mad-science hobby with today’s Groupon: for $59, you get a dental exam, x-rays, and a take-home whitening system at Foley Dental Group, in Maryville, Illinois (a $525 value).

Dental exams are an essential part of maintaining a healthy mouth, providing early detection for problems and uncovering any damage. The comprehensive oral checkup includes an inspection of each and every mouth-stone, revealing chips, cracks, and cavity-dwelling mouth trolls (a $69 value), and the battery of x-rays uncovers the deepest secrets of each tooth-stalk (a $157 value). To extend the pearlescent benefits of the visit, clients will also receive a professional take-home whitening kit, brightening smiles, smirks, and frowns over the course of a few weeks (a $299 value).

The Foley Dental Group's friendly, welcoming office puts patients at ease with helpful staffers, a bright, open atmosphere, massaging dental chairs, and care-coordination services.